Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
