I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
