i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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