I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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