I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
