I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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