the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
