I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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