booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
