guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
