I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
