I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
