I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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