I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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