Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
