My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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