If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
