I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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