i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
