Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
