I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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