I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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