wanna go halves on a baby?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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