I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
