So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
