Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
