Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
