Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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