This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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