I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
