so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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