smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
