I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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