Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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