I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
