Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
