pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
