By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
