I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
This girl is more easily done than said...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
