lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
