Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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