It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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