Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
