Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
