Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
