the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
