I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We talked him into tasing himself.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
