I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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