you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
two words...techno handjob
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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