So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
