You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
