if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
