Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
