Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Someone came in the potted fern
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
