dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
